Emma

OM GAN GANPATAYAE NAMAH......

.........that night was the most memorable night of my life,me with Tulsi and her small angel friend Yashoda,we enjoyed the celestial Arathi.We were talking about each other's spiritual aspirations."i missed the Siddhavanah,the tranquility,the atomsphere so unearthly,i missed u Tulsi."i said,by looking in her eyes."she just smiled back."After getting initiated by mahaguru i was tremendously happy and all fired up and thought of becoming a Snyasai, A CELIBATE.i guess that was because of the enegies i was around,all head shaved yogis around me"i added.TULSI:it happens ,its beacuase of the fact we all were yogis from many lives, we all gather there every life,"."But when i came back except for the fact i got healthy body,nothing was exciting.The mantra i was initiated made me feel drowsy and to a extent haevily boring." i said.By this time we were laughing vociferously.Tulsi:it happens,sometimes you feel heavy,drowsy,and many times the worst phases of your life get braodcasted on ur mental theatre,dont worry,just witness everything as amovie and let go."oh i c,but i thought i got some serious thing missing in spiritual practise"i replied.I was telling her all this and she was looking at me with compassion and love unexplained.Her blue eyes,brown hairs,magical touch was making me all crazy with the utter satisfaction of meeting a part of my soul.the moment itself was so poetic,here we are on the banks of ganga,witnessing the whole banaras,dancing on the melodious flutes of Krishna{the god of love},all alone unknown,like lovers.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           For many moments i forgot my "lines".My pointmaking skills failed me in front of her innocent simplicity of expression.But this was ironic too,i was talking about my decisison of becoming a celibate,in the meantime,was getting drowned away by her fully blossomed smile.This was perfect moment for me ,to grab the oppurtunity,to tell her what i feel about her.And golden words of Narayn dass were captivating my modus operandi.I asked her where she is staying and all,she said

"in sriramashram with my group, we are going to kailash next month."In my mind, kailash?,oh i cant afford to leave her,all i want to b e with her,and enter the Siddhasram with her.Kailasha?,whats that?is it a religious place?,i asked.Tulsi:Mount kalilash is the abode of SHIVA,the LORD of the universe.In my mind i was flowing with the desire of being with her ,rset of my life,by hook or by crook."Please take me too,i am new to all this,and as mahaguru said i have rto learn all this as fast as possible"i made a point on this.She smiled ,mischievously,as if she was reading my mind and replied"oh k buddy."That was such a relief,i was moonwalking in my mind.Tulsi:its not easy to go there,its very far away and expensive travel dear and too difficult to earn."hey in case u forgot i am SOLIDER all my life."i ejaculated out of overexcited."Nay  Thats not the way it is buddy,it is something "written in stars" to be there in KAILASH"SHE REPLIED."It takes lot of penace karmically,and most importantly a deep down connection with Shiva,the Amighty,u know from Jesus christ to vashist muni the initator of the mesopatamian religion,even Buddha mediatated there.He is lord of all Siddhas,he is Ultimate           

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     ."Her words were  interesting,but were hurting my ego,and litting a fire in me,to prove that iam worthy enough to visit Kailash, i was planning to gearup my sadhna as fast and as hard as i can,to be with her,i will cross all limits of it to gain her.We visted the nearby  temple ,had tilak and prasad                         

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              She left  along with her young friend,as her bus was waiting, and i was motionless.We exchanged hugs,and she left.I dont know i got this desire to meet Nrayan dass and get to know ,what it takes to be in kailash,what is that sadhna,i want to ,learn that,and i know this that he is the only guy who can fulfill my quest.I immediately mounted a auto , and like a mad man headed towards kinnaram s samadhi.Kinnaram s samadhi was a quite place in daytime, but in night where all are in festive season,the place was overcrowed.I asked for Mr dass but no one was able to get me, hell i need a translator,i tried a lot but wasn't able to find him. i enquired the trust office, but no one know anything about that Aghori.Tired up , i sat down near a meditationg AGHORI, following his gestures almost instinctively,i close my eyes and start praying to Kinnaram himself.I dont know what happened,for few minutes i was somewhere else,felt nothingness around,but was interrupted by the ants around,on my thighs,invited by the prasads.Even in that utter distraction and discomfort, the mantra i was initiated by mahaguru, kept on ringing in my heart.i felt a little vibration,and opened my eyes,Narayan dass was in front of me,blessing a Aghori,few feet away from me.This was so undigestable to see a householder yogi blessing a celibate aghori.I immediately approached him and poured out all my "tulsi"experience.He laughed at me,and taunted me with his hidden comical timing."So young man , as they say in your west, behind every sucessful man, there is a woman, now you can add behind every sucessful yogi , there is a woman."he said.I was like what? please explain?.Narayan:Earlier you came to me , that you cant focus,after your initation,and you find all this spiritual thing "boring",then you met a girl,inafatuated and now you want to do enormous sadhna to  accpmpany her...this is HiS wiLL....